The Importance of Cord Cutting

What are cords?

a cord cutting ceremony in progress.

It is human nature to form attachments. We tie little invisible strings between ourselves and the things we love in order to feel connection, express love, and establish community.

Those invisible strings, or cords of energy, enable us to feel attached to our friends, family, romantic partners, and even to our homes, our sacred spaces, our routines. We think of those attachments as lifelines since they tether us to what bring us joy and peace and comfort.

Not only do we tie cords to things in the physical world, we also bind ourselves to a system of beliefs. We develop attachments to the way we see ourselves, to how we identify; we become attached to our value system, to how we think the world works. It’s at a very young age that we tie these cords, and often times, we never think of them again.

Why would we cut them?

As is the nature of this life, though, things change. We outgrow friendships, break up with romantic partners, endure the death of a loved one. We leave jobs, move cities, change our hobbies.

While the object of our attachment may no longer be present, the cord that tied us to it can remain very much intact.

It’s like trying to sail off an island without pulling up your anchor first. Even if you’re able to put some distance between you and the shoreline, the journey is likely to be way more arduous than it has to be.

Energetic cords keep us tethered to the familiar.

• They keep us stuck in a version of Self even long after we’ve outgrown it.

• They keep us in repetitive relationship patterns.

• They keep us in financial struggle.

• They keep us in survival mode.

Cutting cords pulls up your anchor so you can sail off your island. It doesn’t make the unknown any less scary; it certainly reduces your drag, though.

How do we perform a cord cutting?

While you’re free to make it your own (and in fact are encouraged to do so), you only need a few basic elements to start.

1. GATHER YOUR MATERIALS

   • (1) candle to represent the old Attachment

   • (1) candle to represent your unencumbered Self

   • (1) piece of string to represent the Cord

   • a lighter or match for the candles

   • optional elements: additional herbs, salts, crystals, or talismans to infuse your intentions

2. BIND THE CANDLES

   • Tie your cord first to the Attachment candle and second to the Self candle.

   • Place each candle in its holder (it’s okay if there’s a little slack in the cord).

3. SET THE INTENTION

   • Here, you’re telling your Guides what you expect to accomplish with the ritual.

   • “I am performing this ceremony to cut the cord between [ME] and [IT]. By the time this ritual is complete, I will have rid myself of the attachment to [it] and replaced it with room for affirming and positive connections to what comes next.”

4. LIGHT THE CANDLES

   • Light the Attachment candle first, and then the Self candle.

   • Take care NOT to ignite the twine when lighting the candles.

5. MEDITATE, JOURNAL, OBSERVE

   • Explore what the Attachment candle represents for you. What limiting beliefs are at play because of this attachment?

   • Explore what you’re making room for; what energy are you inviting in and manifesting for yourself?

   • Observe the candles as the burn - what do you notice about the way the wax pools? About which one burns faster, or brighter, or bigger? The candles’ behavior is telling of its energy.

   • Pull cards if questions arise or you get stuck while you’re conducting your ritual.

6. SEE THE CORD CUT

   • Watch the moment your candle(s) ignite the twine.

   • Watch the twine burn until it breaks.

   • Watch what it does to either or both of the candles as it burns.

   • The cord has been cut.

7. GRATITUDE AND AFTERCARE

• Offer gratitude and take some deep cleansing breaths now that the cord has been cut. More room has been made.

• Allow the candles to burn all the way out or extinguish them yourself when you feel the ritual is complete. Destroy any writing associated with the Attachment candle to further symbolize letting go of that energy.

• Listen to your body in the hours and days after your ritual as residual energy finds ways to move up and out. You may find your brain navigating towards familiar thought patterns or walking down well-worn neural pathways.

• Your only job is to notice, and then redirect with a simple, “That’s not who we are anymore.”

• Be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself, and enjoy the extra space your cord cutting has freed up.